Thursday, December 6, 2007


So in our college and career class, we have been discussing sexuality and the single apostolic. This has included commentary on male/female relationships and a discussion of how often times guys look at girls as a conquest instead of something precious. This was my response to the discussion:

Single Apostolic Man,

Congratulations, you’ve just taken a huge step. Making the choice to be finished with childish flings and find yourself a woman, a whole godly woman is a decision to be commended. As you begin this journey, here are a few insights into the female mind from just such a one you might be searching for. Please accept this offering of wisdom in the spirit with which it is given. It is only meant to aid in your quest, not to criticize any of your previous or current qualities and/or actions.
In modern times, the male of our species has begun to look at the female as a conquest – just another sexual exploit to add to the list. Our take on this is as follows. We do not desire to be conquered by you – we are not a mountain to be scaled or the elusive 10-point buck you gleefully hunt down. Your stalking and then pouncing does not attract us to you and neither does your innuendo filled conversation. We need to be wooed, courted. This doesn’t always mean expensive gifts, flowers, or even incredibly earnest love poetry. Start small. Begin by being our friend. Earn our trust. Allow us to observe your integrity first hand. Show that your relationship with God means more than the one that you desire to experience with us. Don’t sweep us off our feet with empty pretty words accompanied by a hidden agenda. Build a line of honest communication instead – where you are not only willing to listen, but also to share of yourself – the deep parts of you that we may not have otherwise known existed.
If you believe you are ready for this endeavor, be prepared to put forth real effort for it. I promise you will not regret your investment. For you see, we are givers as well. Earn our trust and our adoration may very well follow. Treat us with respect and watch us begin to desire your input and value your opinion. Look beyond our bodies to our brains and find that we are someone you can not only physically desire, but who also can stimulate your mind and inspire your spiritual growth. Prize our purity and know that we are not dispassionate ice princesses. We also have desires. We just love God, ourselves, and our future mate far too much to cheapen the mind-blowing intimacy that is sex. We have much pleasure to give, but it is not yours to take. It remains carefully guarded awaiting its rightful recipient, our husbands.
We are women strong, yet soft, whole and beautiful – complete in our relationship with God, yet desirous of another type of relationship that will enrich our lives. Don’t be intimidated by our confidence, success, or intelligence. We aren’t looking for perfection. We wish only to be pursued by one who will truly see us for who we are and appreciate that which they perceive; a man of character to court us with respect, integrity, and purity. Our desire in two words….cherish us.


Single Apostolic Woman